birthday ·
17 June 07

It’s difficult to write about something that you’re not very familiar with. You sort of try to find something that you can tune into, and synchronise with, but if done badly, you’re left feeling empty.

So, it’s another year, and another birthday. Coming soon that is. I didn’t want, or have any plans for my birthday. I was moderately aware of it. I didn’t realise it until the second week of June. It sort of just hit me like a bolt out of the blue, and then got all anxious around how I would feel.

I don’t feel anything with regards to my birthday, I think that’s been the case for a long time. This year doesn’t seem to different, it’s just a digit that’s increased by one. One step closer to your grave. Another 12 months having dealt with the voice hearing and depression.

Paul remembered it was my birthday, which surprised me. I’m not sure how I felt, aside from surprised, may be I felt…flattered I guess. There was no reason for him to mention it, but he remembered.

I’ll be hooking up with Paul next week, with alcohol and drugs taking the front seat in a narcotic fuelled weekend. I just wanted it simple, no fuss, no birthday cake and no gifts and the like. Still he mentioned he thought of the appropriate birthday gift.

This makes me feel strange. I have to return the favour when it’s his birthday, and I have no idea what to get the bastard. Last year I bought him his domain, I’m not sure if I can find another useful purchase. I will be going with him to the demo parties, but then I could say that’s the gift: my company. Cheap and cheerful.

Oh well. Something to think about I guess.

END