fridays ·
19 June 04

Friday’s are usually good for me.

At least they have been of particular joy of late. On Friday I negated responsibility to dice. That is Java dice.

It was Friday morning; I was already late for work as usual. I had gotten ready, but for the last few weeks I was zombiefied. I was a walking shell, with no interest in anything around me. A dead man walking. I would be late for work, but this was not an issue.

As I arrived at my relevant station, I walked up the stairs as I looked for my security pass. I found it. I looked for my desktop smart card. I did not find it. I decided to go home; otherwise it would take all day for me to sort my day out. I took the train back, and on the way, a thought had entered my mind: “What if I don’t go to work?”

I called Jynx, “Doode, 2, 4, and 6 I go to work. 1, 3, and 5 I don’t”
“Erm…I don’t have any dice on me.”
“Ah fuck! I can’t make this decision myself; I need to pass on the responsibility.”
“Use java dice or something, or buy some.”
“Ah wicked, good plan.”

we realised we could have a film on our hands had we any idea of what the hell we were talking about

I couldn’t find any shop in the way that sold dice. I was given the look of, “Eh?” and the infamous, “Who goes around asking for dice?” look. I will go home, and find some dice I concluded. Children play games, they have dice, and therefore I will find dice. I couldn’t find any. Bugger this I thought.

Going online, I did a google on Java dice and found several. I gave the dice the options as follows:

First:
Do I go to work or do I not go to work?

Second:
If I don’t go to work, do I lie to the office or tell them the truth?

Third:
If I don’t go to work what excuse do I give? Six excuses.

And the result of all this dicing:

First: Don’t go to work
Second: Lie
Third: I am bleeding and need to see the doctor urgently

The deed was done, however, I continued to use the dice during conversations with people online, and this did not go down well – but what can I say, the dice told me to. I was asked to call someone after some tragedy occurred, I guess the dice was kind in this respect and let me make the call.

That was it for the dice for that day. I expected to smoke with Jynx, or perhaps go drinking and play dice games all night, which sadly did not occur, but perhaps thinking so much would only make the night a downer as opposed to the upper it turned out to be.

I met Jynx near his college campus, and from there, we took a journey on the tube network. No doubt many people will die from poisoning from all that dust and shit that makes its way into our lungs everyday. I want to say it’s not healthy, but who cares apparently?

On the journey to his place, we discussed several topics, but we both knew what we were planning to do. This was very interesting to talk about things that interested us, but really, we knew what was waiting in a few hours and where we would be. It would not, of course, be this planet we were on right now.

The day got on, and finally it was time to smoke. Jynx had trouble rolling, even with the device, and I had to get my hands dirty by completing the last part of the roll, even though he did pretty much everything else. I licked, I sealed, and one stick of dreams was created. Several more were to be prepared. It was getting late, and we had our first smoke.

Fantasia for example, is a pornographic film about sex with cartoons as a distraction

It was like we had never smoked before. It was as though I was smoking for the first time. Everything was new, the feeling, the thoughts, my imagination was all exploding with fireworks, It was so intense and so joyous that I couldn’t stop laughing or considering a 1001 odd ideas. During the smoking session, we had discussed the beginning of something and I would end it with “and that’s how the movie would end.” And we realised we could have a film on our hands had we any idea of what the hell we were talking about.

At one point I had created a story, or a plot for a film, of which I was half way done. Jynx took over and turned it into something else and added the ending. I was agreeable and it all worked well. We were flooded with ideas, including the movie about an eye blink and a native Indian “chanting”.

Perhaps, I hope that we can somehow make these as mini-movie projects. Whether they would be entertaining is beside the point. It’s trying things that are supposed to work & fail and see if it does work or whether it fails. I think we could perhaps disprove some theories and back up others in the world of film making. It’s an interesting theory anyway.

[zz93]

We watched several films, including Ghostbusters and Labyrinth, both of which (I forget on which day) caused sleeping out of all the excitement we were expecting. It wasn’t that we were bored or anything, it was just that the smoke had taken its toll on us, and we were lacking sleep from the previous day(s). The movies were great; we just didn’t have the energy to watch them. We watched several other films, and I watched whatever episodes of Garth Merenghi which Jynx had available

After going through some bizarre ritual which caused chaos between the two DVD players and after much effort Jynx got them working. We were still rather “smokey” in our behaviour, so we tried to grasp the idea of why something wasn’t working. Eventually, it was time, and the first DVD that we watched all the way through, and actually played was Happy Tree Friends, a hypnotic collection of the most sadistic cartoon animation imaginable. Perhaps I was on my own here, but I tried to grasp the concept of why the animation was only rated a “12 and over” certification. As far as I was concerned, had I shown this to a group of parents, there would be hell to pay.

I played with the idea, and bounced suggestions off Jynx as to blackmailing the makers of Mondo Mini Shows for money; otherwise we would tell the parents about Mondo Mini Shows and get them sued. Jynx didn’t think we could get away with it, so I dropped the idea – at least for now. However, we did, thanks to Mondo Mini Shows; laugh hysterically at the insane deaths that took place in front of our very eyes. It was fantastic.

a thought had entered my mind: “What if I don’t go to work?”

We discussed possible movie ideas and things that would be “cool” if “this happened”. It’s often the case we go into a little tangent about silly things, that aren’t that silly actually. If we took what we said seriously while under the influence of smoke inhalation then it could be that we have some pretty mad but lucrative ideas. Blackmailing Mondo Mini shows, being one example.

I pondered about all the things that I would do in Holland, and then I looked at the realism of what I would actually do. Smoking is a no brainer and this would naturally happen, with the intention to try as many varieties as possible. Drinking would also be something to do. Trying out whores – well, if I was under the influence and with a whore, no doubt I would express every sickening perversion that I keep down below, for no one else to see. The only problem with this it that I do not wish to be caught for murder. There’s always something that messes a nice plan.

Prior to watching Way of the Gun, I had hooked Jynx on the premise of a “cruel ending in the movie”. He was intrigued to find out what it was. We watched the movie, and he seemed to be enjoying it. Having seen it several times already I knew it inside out. Never as much fun to watch a movie you have seen with someone who hasn’t. In any case, the ending came and it went.

“What the fuck? Where’s this cruel ending?”
“Ha ha ha, well, that was the cruel ending.”
“But…that wasn’t cruel!”
“Well it’s cruel to someone who’s very sensitive to violence”
“Jin…in future….please…when you describe a violent movie….tell me what it is compared to!”
“Hmmmm”
“Just compare it to something like, ‘It’s as violent as’ because that ending was good, but it wasn’t cruel, and you said it was cruel.”

As he slapped another load of Doritos in his mouth, he moved from the corner end of the sofa and repositioned himself in a manner more comforting. I forget what happened next, or what day this happened. The weekend tends to merge when we smoke. In fact, I think Jynx told me it was Sunday at one point, when I realised I had to go work the next day. I was still under the impression it was Saturday. Not for the first time either.

The aim of smoking was to expand on the ideas of projects, to plan in the most incoherent way approaches to achieving the projects. This was not the case. In fact, I only remember being able to pick up the pen and pad at one point over the weekend to comment on a new idea: Reverse Certification.

The only problem with this it that I do not wish to be caught for murder

REVERSE CERTIFICATION

The idea is that movies would be made with certificates where movies indicate the age below the movie would be suitable for. For example, someone aged 7 would not understand Mondo Mini Shows and will see it as a cartoon and nothing else. An adult would see it as something sinister and violent and therefore possibly a trigger for sickening violence.

A movie like Free Willy would be for children only as adult may end up either hunting whales, sleeping with whales, molesting them, being a bad parent and so on.

We need to look at both scales. Fantasia for example, is a pornographic film about sex with cartoons as a distraction. The actual undertones of it are sex is good, sex is bad, all forms of sex are acceptable and that everyone should be doing it. Not something you want to spread to weird people who may decide to start fucking everything. Other adults will use it for acid trips and children as just a cartoon.

Reverse Certification will work. In my head.