one of those days ·
13 June 04

Close to having a job I want.

I was in a pretty sensitive mood today, I don’t know what sparked it off, or why and what I gained from it.

But, mental institutes need to be rephrased as say, the “happy asylum” or something where it is actually reflective of what people think. Sure, some do want to kill but it makes them happy, doesn’t mean it’s right, but they’re not mental. They don’t understand any better.

there is a modicum of fun to be had in the stupidity of it all

By throat is swollen, the backend of my tongue is also swollen. Hurts like crazy, slighty overdosed medication so feeling a bit sleepy. Kinda bored, tired, unhappy all that shit under the sun – and yet at the same time I’m telling my best friend to keep the faith and put his heart into what it is he is doing, and he will get through the tough times. Shame on me I suppose. Hopeless till the last.

Still throat is in a lot of pain, kinda difficult to breathe – but will tough it out, as always.

I am reading The Dice Man at the request of a friend. I find it slightly pretentious and far too convenient. It’s kept me interested because I want to see how far the predictability goes. Predictability in a book is about as exciting as watching a movie about a boat sink when you knew it was going to – oh wait, millions of you still went to watch it. “The ending was great” well the ending was already written when IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED!

I don’t want to be one of those bitter, sullen guys that blogs about the sad stuff. I had some fun though, I played “swap our names” or something we invented in a moment of fun, changing our names and insulting one another – there is a modicum of fun to be had in the stupidity of it all. No one else talked, but, it was a fun moment – it couldn’t always happen, I just can’t find anyone in this world so far to keep up with me. Mentally I’m as old as can be, but there is a small part of me, still a child still not having grown up. Which is good. For me. Probably pisses everyone else off.