retro gamer speak ·
21 July 04

So who would understand this?

Very fucking few. Team 17, the small studio outfit that came from small roots and grew in to something bigger, and yet retaining their identity and values as a games development company that truly understood gameplay.

I was never a big fan of Worms, to be honest. I know everyone was well into it, and for most it was their very first taste of the name Team 17, brought to them courtesy of the bile that is Ocean. See, for non-games, those that didn’t load up the games with cracktros containing stunning chip music, coupled with some breathtaking visuals and little dinky menus which said “Infinite Lives” or “Invincible” wouldn’t know what the hell I’m talking. Neither would they really understand the links between some of the first generation of gaming powerhouses. Names such Domark, Ocean, Microprose, US Gold and so on; these are names that would send shivers down the spines of 80s/90s gamers. These were publishers we grew up, before your Eidos, before EA became a massive global monopoly on publishing, before Interplay became Atari, when Gremlin still existed. Names that brought joy to millions of homes around the world.

So why they hell am I getting so nostalgic about gaming of yore, and in particular Team 17? Before I get on to that, there were two games I remember, which I have been trying to convince my friend Paul existed. The first game was the original Rollcage, before it became a better game, and one that made Wipeout realise what it should be, but didn’t do very well. God knows why, as futuristic racing games go it really was incredibly fast and brilliant hard and addictive. Of course that wasn’t by Team 17, I don’t think Paul ever got into it, but he did play it a few times. A bit like Scarab. I won’t even comment on that mistake; he did buy it, and I’ll leave it at that.

Anyway, with regards to Rollcage it used by this Destruction Derby type of game. There was a bowl within which there were vehicles, mini trucks, cars and so on. I think there was like a cage in it, that rolled in it as well. I’m not making this up entirely, I just remember seeing the screenshots in the back of CVG back in the mid to late 90s, and it was coming out on the Amiga and ST, and possibly PC, but then PC gaming never used to be the colossus it is now. That game never happened, and I don’t know if it was a good or a bad thing. I know this much, it existed for a while, Paul doesn’t believe this. I’ll give him proof one day. I bet if I Google for it I’ll find it.

Short bursts of fire? What weapon to use? Is there a shortcut? Which way will the enemy come from first? Run and gun or clear an area before moving?

The second game was Waggle-O-Mania. It came free on the cover of Amiga Format I think, or one of the Amiga mags, it was a free game by Team17 and the aim was to waggle the stick as fast as you could to get it to the highest level. Each level was represented by a phrase, at the bottom you had “Crap” or something, and at the top, “Waggle Champion” and somewhere in the middle, something like “barely a wanker”. Again, my fragmented mind may simply have reconstructed memories and created those phrases up, but it was in that frame of setting up on the screen.

I used to play with my cousins, I don’t think I had many friends. At least none that I knew locally. My weight used to fluctuate a lot from skinny as fuck to fatty. I remember one picture where my face seems to imply I used to eat a lot of pies. I didn’t, but it implies as much. We love the game, any how, and it was a game of competition.

We had 1 Zipstick, and two Cruiser joysticks. They always had two fire buttons, and I think it was fairly rare for games to use both buttons, or to assign different functions for two buttons. It was really a case of the joystick, and using either button. They were meant to be for the left or right handed player. Anyway, Waggle-o-Mania didn’t require even a button, it was a case of rattling the joystick as fast as you could in order to get the highest score. It was a genius idea, it was free, and we played that shitloads. Now, if you are a gamer, and you understand this, then you’ll think,

“To play a game that is free, comes from a mag, and only requires a stick, you must have had a lot of fucking crappy games”

Not true, we had everything, from Chase HQ 2 to Speedball 2, we had the lot. We just, for some reason, really loved the simplicity of the game. It was fun, it was free, but it was also Team 17. The other point is of course, the game did exist, and it’s the other game that Paul doesn’t believe existed. Again I bet if I did a Google I would find it.

Fuck it, I’m going to Google and see what I get. I bet I find them, and I’ll fucking prove it. I don’t lie about games, they have been so important to my life, since my fucking parents didn’t bother.
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YES! FUCK YEAH! Who’s your daddy? Bend over bitch, spanky spanky, red bottom time you dirty cow! I Googled and got these links, and although these are only for Rollcage they prove my point, though with the first link you’ll have to do a “Find in this page”:

Rollcage info 1
Rollcage info 2

Who is your God? It is I! Smarty Pants, Lord of all that is gaming knowledge. Bow before my geek pants, covered in Transformers insignia, which lay next to my bottle of Thundercats bubble bath, and the story of Space Harrier. You are mine BIATCH!

Waggle O Mania info 1
Waggle O Mania info 2
Waggle O Mania info 3

My life is partly complete. Hmm, why do I care that Paul knows? Not having a brother, he has been like one. I guess. I don’t know how much I care for him, but I know that talking to him is like talking to someone that I have known all my life. Sometimes I see a reflection of the mind, and sometimes I see differences which help me see in a different way. Sometimes I feel like I’m older than him when he says, “I need your advice, cuz I’m trying to figure it out.” and then he’ll thank me, and then he’ll ignore the conversation we have and do something else and then he’ll just say “Oh is that what you said?”. It’s quite amusing. Maybe he was my brother in another life? Or maybe he Panda….hmmm….

So I digress for perhaps the billionth time, and back to the point. One of my favourite games was Team17’s Alien Breed. It took the energy, fear, claustrophobia and sheer adrenaline of Cameron’s sequel to Scott’s classic original, and injected chaos and fury. Alien Breed was a top down shooter, with a relentless, committed and determined ongoing barrage of aliens coming for you or a buddy if playing in two player mode.

The aim was to enter an area, and within a certain time limit locate the self destruct. Upon enabling the self destruct, you would have to escape the area, but whereas it was easy going in, you’ll find it a thousand times more difficult to exit as the swarms of single-minded aliens came to tear you apart. It was like going through a hell.

The other point is of course, the game did exist, and it’s the other game that Paul doesn’t believe existed. Again I bet if I did a Google I would find it.

The enemy kept coming, and you gun yourself through to the exit, knowing that timer was counting down, you were running low on ammo, and a new river of scum was heading your way in about two seconds. Of course with the self destruct, their was a sort of light which spun, keeping some areas dark until the light passed over it. Add to that, the fact that the levels got more complicated and maze like, and it became a serious task of guts and strategy. Short bursts of fire? What weapon to use? Is there a shortcut? Which way will the enemy come from first? Run and gun or clear an area before moving?

It was quick action, which required dexterous reflexes and stamina to twist your Zipstick to a setting you were comfortable with, making sure the suction pads on it were stuck firmly, that you had enough time to wipe the sweat off your brow. It was fucking genius, it was beautiful, magnificent, the levels more fiendish and more demanding to the point of pulling your hair out because, “I SWEAR THIS LEVEL CAN’T FUCKING BE DONE! IT’S IMPOSSIBLE!” Yeah, some of the levels were fucking evil beyond reasoning, but they could be done, after the billionth try.

The other day, my friend started a conversation about how previous 2D games could be redone in 3D. We picked many, but I mentioned Alien Breed. It would be like Doom3, or maybe top down, I couldn’t be sure. We fucked around with ideas. I thought about doing it like Loaded, by Gremlin. An average shoot up with pretty graphics and gore, and pretty cool artwork from one of the guys that did the art for 200AD at the time.

I began looking for mods a little while ago for Unreal Tournament 2004. I stumbled upon Alien Swarm. I downloaded the video, I watched in excitement, in tension and suspense. It was a top down shooter, in which you are thrown in to areas filled with aliens to kill. It used the Unreal Tournament 2004 engine as its base, it had an intuitive interface, fantastic graphics for a top down shooter, and some nice innovations like limiting weapons (a bit like Halo) and adding the ability to recruit team members, medics and such. Throw in multiplayer and singleplayer modes, and I think I found my Alien Breed.

I only played the training mission, but like Alien Breed all those years ago, it made me jump now and again, as I got into it, the set pieces, the beeping of the radar, my men taking point to cover three areas of entrance and firing maniacally. Brilliant, genius, and I found what I was looking for.

You can’t play the game without unreal tournament, even though Alien Swarm itself is about 400MB, UT2K4 is 4GB, which is quite a leap for someone so small. But is it worth it? Yes, for me anyway. I can’t see any of my friends, bar Paul, even caring about this. Unless you owned and Amiga or ST, Alien Breed wouldn’t have meant much to you. Alien Swarm kicks Alien Breed screaming into 2004, and it’s a fucking joy to play. Simple gameplay, bigger fun.