the board back then ·
11 November 04

This was pretty much a sample of my thoughts, rather than my entire thoughts on a topic that was fairly serious in some regards. I won’t fill in the blanks, but you can easily guess what it’s about. Or may be you can’t. Anyway, being able to talk about it was a weight off my shoulders as I kept my gob shut about it for a loooooooooong time.

I decided to include it as is, as I wrote it half dazed, forgetting the question most of the time and trying to write as much as was in my brain as I could. I think it’s a pretty fair comment on how things went, but at least, it’s one thing on my mind that’s been partially dealt with.

The weird thing is, there is a life on the Internet, a sort of community which is viable and valid. There are politics and a heirarchy of sorts. It’s a fucked up a world, and one I never want to get involved with in such a way again.

this thread, joking aside, is a weight off my shoulders, so i’ll say my piece, and if i step on people’s toes, well screw you.

i started on that board late, well i don’t rem how late, ph0 got me in there, and it was fun. i didn’t like everyone, in fact, there were probably five people on that entire board i actually had any respect for, ironically they were the core admin and some mods.

you know what i was like. i was a trouble maker of sorts, and most, if not all, hated me for it. it was only later i found out how two-faced some of the cunts were, and the fact was my sarcasm was a little on the extreme. i remember one particular comment that pissed off one particular admin and started a whole heap of shit. i never saw eye to eye with the guy, i don’t know if i would in real life, but i still respected him because he stood by what he said, and didn’t kiss anyone’s arse or talk behind anyone’s back. that’s something i can’t say for everyone in the team or working behind the scenes. i won’t bother to mention names, it’s petty, but that point i want to make clear, simply because no one’s asking me to be nice anymore:)


we can add more forums, gimmicks and such, but this board is basically the last remnant of a time that is over; it’s the last string of hair in a balding head

when the that board went down the first time, it was a bit of a shock, to say the least, and there was a strange state of limbo that existed. when i modded, and then got bored, i did so without any seriousness. i wasn’t there for the goods per se, but more of the chit chat. i wanted that review forum to be active so badly, and it was great to see a board which had people who wanted to create art and show it – on a bloody dodgy forum no less. there was a touch of elitism about the proceedings, particularly with the mods, but the admins (for the most part) were down to Earth, and they were fucking great. i don’t miss richard in the least fucking bit – that guy was born retarded and remained that way. ah, but he was good to fight with…everyone was. happy days.

i also remember during the original “end” bob was grabbing as many people as possible to move to somewhere else. this was a good thing, but i remember a lot of people feeling betrayed at what he was doing; bob was doing the right thing.

when that board finally came back up, and the talk had died down i was in two minds: on the one hand i was glad, but we all knew someone wasn’t returning and that was a big loss; secondly was it safe? no one really knew, but it was perhaps a mistake to ever resurrect it. nostalgia and sentimentality made the decision, rather than need. it was a big want.

and the return was wet, to say the least. i had no particular interest in being a part of any board really, and for a while i was absent, but my own nostalgia got the better of me. what i saw, shocked the hell out of me, what i heard from others disgusted me. the spirit had gone, essentially, and those i had once respected, i now felt disappointed about.

[zz93]

bob was victimised by the very people he was with originally all the way from delusional days. it’s rather ironic then that the comments from admin and mods alike were pretty pathetic at levelling accusations at not just bob, but palo and several others who wanted a fresh start. i think only two or three remained that actually did something positive, and said, “good luck bob, but you’re always welcome here”. that for me was the only reason i stayed there, because i was pretty angry at everyone else’s retarded and selfish behaviour. that was when that board wasn’t that board anymore, it was just a bunch of egos wanting something that no longer existed. with the exception of a few.

now that board staff had their fights, and i couldn’t defend bob on his actions against bouddha. i loved the guy; and again, someone who smoke is mind and said “fuck you all” to the rest. he was funny, often drunk, but always honest and i had every respect for the guy. he was hard work though for most, and not the easiest person to get on with, and i didn’t like the way he was treated for something i was actually going to do myself. bob did wrong there, but most of you did wrong when the board returned and bob didn’t want a part of it.

so we have solid. the potential is there. the potential for any board exists, the potential is only realised by those that to make use of the resources. it started off moderately well but i guess not everyone feels they can get much out of it. just as with that board, activity is formed from the activity of its members, if the members aren’t active, the board is not active. for me it’s a disappointment, but on the other hand i’m also realistic. people don’t have that time anymore, and in a year or two years a lot changes, including priorities. if more people were on here, that would attract existing members to be active.

i never saw eye to eye with the guy, i don’t know if i would in real life, but i still respected him because he stood by what he said, and didn’t kiss anyone’s arse or talk behind anyone’s back. that’s something i can’t say for everyone in the team

i don’t know why i visit. perhaps out of some feeling of obligation? the people i want to chat to aren’t really here, and if i see them on the chat thing, whatever it is, then i’ll message them and say hello. 9/10 i’m not online on that stuff, and just go out, write, or watch films or whatever else. i can’t count on one hand the people that i am talking with here, and those people i try to talk with, in some capacity, even if it’s short as “Hi there, we’ll talk soon. Gotta go now”. I’m not the best when it comes to keeping in touch, letting alone remembering shit.

i’ve poked ntk about what to do, and the truth is, there is little he can do, because we can add more forums, gimmicks and such, but this board is basically the last remnant of a time that is over; it’s the last string of hair in a balding head. it’s the final hub that’s keeping people together. no, don’t worry, no more anaolgies. ok one, it’s that comfortable armchair that feels familiar, you don’t really want to do anything fancy to it, because it fits your needs just as it is.

there’s a lot of this on forums where people have known each other for a long time, which is why i’m encouraging them to get new blood in. with solid, it’s a little unique, it’s people that knew each other trying to keep in touch. a friends united jobbie almost. the good thing is it keeps people who want to stay in touch, in touch. the bad thing is, it can never actually move foward as the board has no other purpose than to preserve the past, if you will. therefore activity will be low i guess; as they, familiarity stagnates creativity and originality (as well as breeding contempt).

i still post reviews, even though no one bothers with them. that’s not really the point for me. i can’t be screwed with the chat box, and it’s only topics like this that keep my interest, not half the self-congratulatory threads that we have. something that’s real, and not superficial drivel.

you know, i’ve been up since the day before, before that, i had my first meal in three days having not eaten. and i’ve spent most of this morning on that chat thing, and trying to work like crazy sorting out a project with friend while trying to type this up. if it’s incoherent, apologies.