the room ·
19 June 04

There was nothing untoward about the dream I had of you…

You were in a bathroom, pale in colour, with subdued lighting. You were lying in a bathtub, with the taps facing away from you, your lower body pointing towards it. The left leg was draping over the left handside of the tub, angled, so it fell down.

The curtains surrounded you, showing only yourself. A very mellow, warm light shone over you. It was very weak, and almost verged on the dark. The subdued lighting in the bathroom itself added little to what I could see.

Your head was leaning to one side, with another light flickering on and off, the result of which was reflected in your eyes. Your hair was wet, but the bath itself was dry. There was one candle at the back of the bathtub, rippling to go out – creating shadows of malicious intent in the room.

The upper part of your body was dressed in a vertical, pin stripe shirt. The vertical lines were grey, blue and white in colour. It covered you down to your lower thighs. Your lips were blood red, the skin natural, with no make up. Your eyes seemed to be staring into a distance, and I couldn’t figure out the focus. It was as though you had seen beyond what others could see, or had seen something that had placed your soul into deep thought, contemplating your next move for your entire life.

I wanted to ask if you were feeling well, but I didn’t know what the response would be

There was an old wooden chair, which could only be seen by the flickering light, as the focus of lighting was upon you. I fumbled around in the dark, my eyes beginning to see white spots, due to the repetitive nature of the lighting.

It was cold when I first entered the room, but now the temperature had dropped violently, and I could see the cold air from my mouth forming into crystals of ice, and then smashing down to the floor with a delicate sound. There was nothing coming from your mouth, as your eyes continued to look into a distance that lead to nowhere.

I finally found the chair, and placed myself upon it. Cold, freezing, I began to shake – the chair creaking as my body rattled on top of it. I could see a faint reflection in a mirror, which was across the room, opposite the creaky chair. The most I could make out were two circles of white, it was as though nothing else existed for that mirror.

Your skin seemed soft, untouched, clean. Your toes had no varnish on them, and the nails were looked smooth and bright. Your legs seemed longer than normal, but I put this down to the poor lighting playing with my mind.

I wanted to ask if you were feeling well, but I didn’t know what the response would be – besides it didn’t seem as though you could see anywhere beyond the point you were staring at.

I looked down into my shaking hands and ponder on what to do next. I hear the squeaking in the bath tub, and looked up to find your arm had shifted over towards your leg, as you slowly caress it as if you have only just discovered yourself, or remembered where you were. You seemed pleased to find your body again, but it wasn’t an obvious joy. You trace your hand from the top of your face, down to your neck line – stopping for a pause. You look up and smile, and return to your neutral expression.

It was as though you had seen beyond what others could see

Staring back at the point of focus, you elegantly lift your leg completely outside of the tub, preparing to remove yourself from its captivity. The left leg goes over, with your left arm supporting the side turn. Your right leg follows the left, and you have now lifted yourself out of the tub, sitting beautifully on the edge of the tub. The shirt is still draped just above the lower part of your thigh. You looked down, as your hair falls over your face – hiding your thoughts, your vision. I am positive I see a smirk, or perhaps a smile of some description. Something that you have discovered, remembered, or understood has created this expression, and I am no more wiser for it.

You haven’t noticed me, but I watch as you place one foot in front of the other, and stride with your bare legs, the light momentarily providing snippets of your walk. The lighting emphasises your sensitive, and gentle nature – at this point. You walk towards the door, and open it, revealing a bright light that hurts your eyes. You turn away, your arm covering your eyes as you see the bathtub reveal itself to you. Your eyes open a close for a few seconds, as you try to adjust them to the light you have seen. You see your shadow on the floor, leading up to the bathtub and smile softly.

The body turns. and you and walk into the room of light, the door shuts behind you of its own accord. I remain seated in the creaky chair, in the bathroom, which is now dark. I see nothing, but hear whispers. I close my eyes, and disappear into the darkness. The light flickers once to reveal the empty bathtub, and once more to reveal the now empty room. It is over.