Fuck. I don’t want to get up. No, I don’t want to wake up. That’s it, I don’t want to wake up. I don’t want to face the day, and be bored mindless with doing nothing. I feel so fucked up.
I’ve been feeling like this for a few days, as of late. I don’t know what’s triggered it, but the monotony is killing me. I’m not saying I feel lazy, I just lack any motivation to do anything. I feel resigned to stay in bed, and try to sleep some more. But I can’t get back to sleep.
My day begins...
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At 16/17 I was on Prozac, for a fairly short time I was on Paroxitine but the side effects broke me, and shut me down. Since 2005, I think, I’ve been on Duloxetine for which I was a guinea pig of sorts, during my stay in a mental hospital, which initially caused tremors and more, but after taking Ophenedrine for a while, those side effects reduced.
For my psychosis I was on Zyprexa which made me gain weight and I’ve not been able to get rid of that extra weight, so then they switched me to Abilify which was another new...
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It was extremely unpleasant and difficult to stop taking my medication. Initially, the first day, I was quite impressed at how easy it was. I even enjoyed a sort of bounce in my energy and my difficulties in sleeping. I felt able to do anything, energy wise, with nothing being limiting.
Two and more days in, and I felt awful. My mind was all over the shop, my body was fighting against the lack of medication, and I was mentally and physically craving the meds to balance me out.
I feel devastated in some senses that the medication has become such a...
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