fucking withdrawal again ·
1 December 07

Fuck I think I’m having pseudo-withdrawal symptoms from not being on my meds, it’s only been about three days so far. I feel sick. Like vomit inducing sick. It seems like I’m gonna puke at any minute, it comes up, it comes down but it never comes out. I don’t know if that sounds dirty or whatever, but I feel as though I’m on the sea and the storms getting rough. My voice hearing has been quite irritating, and repetitive. I haven’t been able to control as usual, although at times I do, it becomes very difficult to maintain the control....Twist the teats for more

ding dong the shrink is dead ·
29 November 07

I think my shrink may be dead. Or may be, and more likely, pissed off. I spent a lot of time avoiding my appointments due to various factors. Factors which including a period of fear where I couldn’t leave my house for fear of attack or outburst. Sure, it was just my paranoia kicking in, but I was certain that going out would involve my death. I imagined and dreamed of dying in various ways, nothing spectacular or creative. Being stabbed to death, shot, strangled, hit n run and all that jazz. I’ve canceled a lot of my appointments, and I...Twist the teats for more

slow return ·
27 November 07

It’s hard to know how to start writing again. I haven’t written since July which is nearly five months previously. It’s not that I lacked anything to write, I just felt I’d done enough writing to last me a while. Enough at least to warrant not writing for nearly five months. I’ve also had difficulty in reading, watching and listening. I feel obligated to write about what I’ve read, heard or watched, and this has stopped me from being able to write. I don’t know where this compulsion to write comes from. Perhaps I was ignored as a child when reading. I...Twist the teats for more